Happy Tuesday!
Yeah, you read that right - Office Nooky. Office romances. Love in this cube.
This subject came up twice yesterday in private conversations I had with 2 different people, so figured I'd give it some thought. Normally I'd say don't dip your pen in company ink. I should know, I've done it. More than once. The first time it was kinda sticky...the second time, not so much. I don't think I'd do it again - but hey...you never know. A&E frowns upon fraternizing, so if I DID do it again, it wouldn't be here. Nothing kills a fling like "you're fired!" I don't think I've met any sex THAT good!
...what? we grown right?
Anyway, I do know of some office romances that came full bloom. They kept it a well-hidden secret...until we got the wedding invitation. Office romances CAN turn into something more. After all, you spend most of your time with the people you work with, so it breeds a great environment for getting to know someone. And if you're one of those people that can't get enough of your boo, then working together is the ideal situation (even though that might be overkill for me).
So, IF you are going to do it, may I suggest you follow some rules? Not that I'm an expert...but since I've been in this situation a couple times before, I'll give you the "RULES" according to Brooke.
Rule #1: KNOW THE RULES
Check your company's handbook and read thoroughly what it says about inter-office dating. I don't think A&E minds if you date, but if you get married, one of you has to leave the company. If there's a strict "no inter-office" dating rule - and you care about your job - then don't do it. Keep your pen in your pocket :)
Rule #2: KNOW YOUR CO-WORKER
Do your homework. Is your potential new fling single? Is he/she one NOT to kiss and tell? Has he/she dated other people in the company before? Is he/she related to your boss? (yikes!) If there's smoke, RUN!
Rule #3: NO MEANS NO
If you ask him/her out and they say no - bounce! That's it. Done. Over. If they're not feeling you, don't press the issue any further. You don't want to get sued and you don't want to become the creepy office stalker. We WILL talk about you.
Rule #4: CREATE A WORKPLACE "PRENUP"
If y'all DO decide to go there, have a conversation first about expectations and boundaries. Discuss what will happen if y'all are "found out," or if one of you has to leave the company or the department. You might find that after this conversation, it may not be worth it. But if it is, use the "prenup" as your guide.
Rule #5: DON'T FISH IN THE SAME POND
Maybe it's best you at least try to date someone in a different department, or a different office. This way you don't really have to see each other everyday ALL day and no one will get suspicious of you two. If you DO date someone in your department, you may want to nip it in the bud and tell your boss so there are no surprises...unless your company policy strictly forbids office dating.
Rule #6: IF YOU MUST DATE, DATE "UP"
I know you may disagree with this, but it's easier to get fired than to get sued for sexual harassment. And stay away from temps and interns. You may think that because they don't "technically" work for the company, the same rules in the company handbook don't apply to them...because most likely they do. Don't pull a Bill Clinton - leave the interns alone.
Rule #7: KEEP YOUR BUSINESS TO YOURSELF
Don't go running your mouth blabbing to everyone and they mama about the hot new guy in accounting you're banging, or the cute administrative assistant you're smashing. No grabbing each other's ass as they walk by, no kissing in the elevator, no googly eyes in meetings. People WILL notice AND they'll have no problem telling your business. Don't become the water cooler gossip.
Rule #8: NO "HOT" MAIL
I know this seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people don't follow this rule. Don't use company email to exchange love letters or to tell your boo what you're going to do to him that night or anything remotely suggestive. If you think your company can't or won't monitor your emails, think again. Use a private web-based email service like Yahoo or save all the juicy exchanges for after work.
Rule #9: NO DRUNK DATING
Be careful at the company holiday party. One too many drinks can cause you to drop your guard and lose focus. Too many people have gotten fired cuz they don't know how to act at the company shindig.
Rule #10: YOUR CUBE OR MINE?
Uh...HELLO?! NEITHER!! As much fun as it may be to have sex on your boss' desk or in the conference room, for goodness sakes y'all...GET A ROOM! No "relations" in the OFFICE. PERIOD.
Now that I've ruined all the fun, is it still worth it? Who knows...but at least you'll keep your job...and your dignity :-)
-b
