Happy Hump Day!
So last night, emotionally drained from a day of mourning Michael Jackson, I couldn’t think of one thing to write about. I slipped into a white tee, sweating like a runaway slave who refuses to turn on her AC (not ready for sky high electricity bills yet) and sat in front of the fan...laptop buzzing. Then I hear a clap of thunder and think how sexy this thunderstorm would be if I had someone here to enjoy it with.
Oh...but wait! I FINALLY got my issue of Essence Magazine today – with the YUMMY Idris Elba on the cover. I DO have someone to share the sexy thunderstorm with...if only in my dreams. Pathetic I know, but so what...don’t judge me.
Y’all don’t know. This man could get it. I mean...GET IT! Talk about a chocolate drop. I’d drink his bath water with a straw. Long, slow sips. I’m getting tingly just thinking about him. Six feet, three inches of pure black platinum, with bedroom eyes and a silky, dreamy British accent to go with it. Yeah, he’d get his back cracked.
Thunder booming, I read the article and discover that the author shares my same lust. She writes, “Etched deep in our collective psyche is the notion of the Perfect Black Man: The brother who can handle his business in the bedroom, the boardroom or the streets. Simmering with alpha male masculinity...for women nurturing this fantasy, finding Idris Elba is like learning Santa Claus really does exist. Then all you want is to take a ride on his sleigh.”
Yeah girl, I hear you!
But come on...really? Does this PERFECT BLACK MAN exist? Yeah, good luck with that one. Idris is an actor, a character, a fantasy. A fine ass one :-)
Let’s face it. No one is perfect. All we have to do is find that person who is perfect for us. In the article, Idris said he wanted to date someone “regular.” Now, this Hercules of a man could probably have his pick of women...but he wants someone “regular.” That got me to thinking. Do “regular” dudes want “regular” women too, or do they want the “Idris Equivalent?” Halle? Beyonce? Gab Union? Men: insert fantasy here.
Do men want the “fantasy” chick or the “regular” chick?
Let’s get back to that in a minute shall we?
One night while out with a group of girls, we were talking about exes, guys we dated, men we kicked it with, etc. After running down my little list of suitors, one “friend” said, “oh yeah, Brooke gets some cuties. They be loving her for some reason.”
What did she just say? For “some reason?”
I look at her sideways.
Jokingly, I say to her, “For some reason? Why do YOU love me?”
What I really wanted to say was, “B*tch, what the f*ck did that mean?” But let me give her a chance to explain before I accidentally spill my drink over her head.
She then tells me that the fine ass men I’ve dated all preferred the “girl next door” type – not the “model” chicks. Read: size 0. I know what the hell she means, but I let it go...and I'm not wasting my drink.
Let me tell you the reason why they be loving me “for some reason.” Maybe it's because us “regular” chicks don’t obsess day in and day out about how we look. I couldn't give a damn about makeup, and hair is just hair to me. I don’t follow fashion trends and I don’t own a million pair of shoes. I shower a couple times a day, take care of my teeth, my skin, my nails and Miss Kitty. I wear sundresses and flip flips and a bra that fits. That’s about as much as I do when it comes to “beauty.”
It’s not that I don’t care. I do care about my appearance. But what I think makes “regular” chicks more approachable and/or appealing is the fact that we’re comfortable with who we are. Model chicks that are constantly sizing up other chicks don’t exude beauty. They exude insecurity. And that’s not cute.
Maybe the reason why a man or woman would choose a “regular” boo over a model, actor or other fantasy is because maybe...just MAYBE...regular people actually take time to cultivate a personality. Maybe they nurture their spirit instead of their eating disorder (if you can count your own ribs that's a problem). Maybe intelligence is more appealing than pretension.
When it comes to body image, I look at myself naked everyday and love my brown self. I know there’s work to be done, and I’m doing it. But this body breathes for me, supports me and moves me everyday - and for those reasons, I love it. I'm healthy. I’m strong. I’m soft. I’m curvy. I’m comfortable in my own skin.
Comfortable exudes confidence. Confidence is sexy. That’s why they be loving me bee-otch!
But hey, that’s just my opinion.
So men...tell me: “model” chick or “regular” chick? Women: Idris Elba...or a “regular” dude?
Damn...I’d still drink his bath water...
-b
