Happy Rainy Hump Day!
(well, in the NYC anyway)
Michael Jackson movie tonight! Woo-hoo! Game 1 of the World Series tonight! Woo-hoo!
So, like I do every morning, I'm listening to Hot97. The morning jocks are talking about men and women and double standards. The one male jock (Cipha Sounds) says he knows he applies a double standard to women - and has no problem with it. The other male jock (Rosenberg) says that he doesn't, and will never, hold his woman to a standard he's not willing to hold to himself.
Cipha Sounds called him a liar :-)
Now, we'd all like to live in a world where everyone - black, white, male, female - are all treated equally. Equal opportunities, equal pay for equal work, women ask men out just as often as men ask women out, and men and women's shoes all cost the same :-)
However, that's not the world we live in...at least not yet anyway.
Cipha Sounds said that he doesn't like for his woman to have male friends or talk to her exes, even though he has female friends and talks to his exes all the time.
Why?
"Because I know men...that's why."
Well, by that same logic, wouldn't that imply that HE has some shady motivations behind why HE has female friends and talks to his exes?
"YES! Because I wanna smash!"
Well, at least he's honest :-)
While I won't assume all men think this way, I will say that there are plenty of double standards applied to both men AND women. Feel free to add your own:
Double Standards Applied to Women:
1. She shouldn't talk to or be friends with any of her exes, even if her man can. Why? Because she's vulnerable - and the minute she has a weak moment after an argument with her NEW man, he'll swoop in and grab the panties.
2. She can't have male friends. Why? For the same reason. All men wanna hit it, and they're just waiting for the opportune time to make their move - usually after her man messes up.
3. She shouldn't have had more sexual partners than her man. Why? Because that would make her a HO, that's why. A woman will rarely tell the truth when it comes to how many men she's slept with (if she tells you at all) - but if she DOES tell you, men usually assume it's 5 more than the number she gives you...and whatever the number is, it's usually too high for the man anyway.
4. She can't or shouldn't date more than one man at a time. If a man does, he's a P.I.M.P - and playing the field. If a woman does it, she's promiscuous...even if she's not having sex with any of the men she's dating. She's expected to sit at home and wait for the ONE dude she's seeing to find time to call her while he's dating 5 other women.
5. If a woman wants to spend more time with her man, she's clingy. If a man wants to spend more time with us, he's a "good boyfriend" - (or p*ssy whipped!) Ha!
6. If a woman dates a much younger man, she's a "Cougar." If a man dates a much younger woman, he's a "sophisticated older gentleman" and is envied by his peers.
Now, men...calm down. I wasn't gonna leave you out. There are double standards applied to men too...and there are similarities:
Double Standards Applied to Men:
1. A man can't be friends with his ex, but the woman can. Why? Because men are driven by their libido, and if he hit it once, he'll wanna hit it again. Men are not seen as beings who can control themselves.
2. A man can't have female friends, but the woman can. Why? Same reason. It's assumed that any woman a man is friends with is one that he was/is attracted to physically and wanted to have sex with at some point - he just ended up in the "Friend Zone" somehow. But given a chance, and knowing how conniving some bitches are, he'll hit it in a moment of weakness the minute you two have a fight...or even if you DON'T have a fight.
3. If a man has a low number of sexual partners, he's considered "inexperienced." While a woman doesn't want her boo to be a "man-whore," she will expect him to have been with enough women to put it down in the bedroom.
4. If a man doesn't have an orgasm while having sex with you, it MUST be because he has a mental block or erectile dysfunction. It can't be because the woman is wack in bed, or because he simply wants to please you. If it's not a mental block or erectile dysfunction, he MUST be cheating, because after all...a woman CAN'T be bad in bed. (insert sarcasm here)
5. If a man cheats, it's because he has an insatiable need for sex - not because something is missing in the relationship. If a woman cheats, it's because she's been neglected...but if men do it, it's because they're just sex-crazed assholes.
6. If a man wants to break up with his girlfriend, he's a jerk. If the girl wants to break up with him, it must be because he's a jerk :-) No-win situation. Women are the victims, never the CAUSE of the break-up.
There...I tried to keep it even :-)
I think if more men and women focused on each other and the relationship, rather than what was done in the past or what we assume will happen in the future, we'd all get along much better. I know this is an idealistic way of thinking, but it can happen - right? If you knowingly subscribe to a double standard, I dare you to be brave enough to admit it here. Go!
-b
