I remember the marriages of cousins, for which preparations started months earlier. Preparing saris and gota on the chunnis. Mataji and Bua making gujhiyas. Relatives coming from Agra, Kanpur, Jaunpur, Allahabad, Lucknow, Faizabad, and all kinds of places. Some of them, we only saw on marriages. Singing, gossiping and eating, whole day long.
For us, everything seems far away, as if we are just planning to go to the marriage of someone else. Till now, the only work related to marriage has been putting together all the addresses and sending them to my sister, so that she can send the wedding invitations.
Yesterday, the supermarkets and shopping malls were open for the Christmas shopping, even if it was a Sunday. We went there to look for things to buy to take to India. But in the end, we came back without buying any thing. We are going to have a week in Delhi, that should be enough for the shopping, we said. For a marriage in India, how can buy things in Italy ?
Today, Nadia has started to prepare the suitcase for Marco. "What dress will he wear for the marriage in Gurudwara in the morning? What will he wear for the Hindu marriage in the evening? And for the reception ? And for the civil marriage? And for the sangeet evening? Which shoes should he take with him?" And suddenly the marriage is no longer a dream, it is something concrete that needs planning and preparation. Since there are going to be three marriage ceremonies, so everything has to be planned and done thrice. Actually, there will be a fourth ceremony as well, in a church in Italy, but for that there is time and we need not worry about it now.
We had never dreamt that Marco born and grown up in Italy would decide to get married like this. When he was young he would ask, "Why is my name Marco Tushar? I don't want this strange name. I want only Marco, like all the Italian children."
Yes, he did enjoy a stray Mr. India or Ajooba, and he had learnt to say Dadi, namastey, Pani de do, khana kha lo etc. when we had guests from India, but that was it. He didn't even want to go to India for holidays. When we went to the functions of the Indian association in Bologna, he hardly ever came with us. His Indian genes were all dormant.
Ah, love! and its strange ways! You can never plan, from where it can come and strike you.
And here he is suddenly wanting to learn Hindi, he wants to dress for the marriage in kurta pajama, he is experimenting with masala chicken. Has been to India three times in last two years.
In our generation, we were all "progressives", we didn't want a traditional shaadi, no band baaja, no ghodi for the baarat. We all chose our spouses. Now for his marriage, suddenly we have all discovered our Indian roots and our traditions.
"Of course, there should be a band! We need to dance", I said.
"We need the sangeet evening for the mehndi", mausi said.
"I want the dress like that of Shahrukh Khan in Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham", Marco said.
Perhaps, it is not really serious. Rites and traditions are not something rigid, to be done because we belive in them for religious or other reasons, but only because they will be fun.
Perhaps it is because of all the Suraj Barjataya, Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Karan Johar films, that make the technicolour NRI dreams for the masses. No illusions thus, we have been massified.
So keep a watch for the next installment of the Dil Wale Dulhanya Le Jayenge soap opera.
*****
While we are on marriages, for nostalgia sake, here are some pictures from our marriage.
