Happy Hump Day!
It's the middle of the week and I can't think of anything but the weekend. I'm counting down the days until my vacation, and Pretty Ricky has already promised to get me drunk the minute I step off the plane in the Dominican Republic :) Now, I'm not much of a drinker, but some Mamajuanas sound real good right about now. I don't even know what that is, but he keeps writing me about them so I'm gonna drink it :-) I want the hot sun on my face, sand between my toes, tanned skin and no worries.
The first thing I'm going to do in preparation for my vacation is get my hair braided on Saturday. The last thing I want to worry about as I splash around in the ocean is my hair - so braids it is. I'll just have to remember to pack a lunch and bring a good book, cuz I'll be sitting there all day getting my tender headed scalp yanked. Yes, a long, painful ordeal...but hey...the things we do for convenience.
I don't have any hair on my legs, so there's no need to shave them. But I will make sure my underarms are smooth and my eyebrows are waxed and plucked. I'll save the mani/pedi for next Wednesday before I go so my nails will be nice and shiny :)
But there's the issue of the bikini line. Normally I Nair it. No shaving for me - it itches as it grows back - and scratching around in that area is not a good look. But Miss Kitty is always well kept. I was toying around with the idea of getting a Brazilian Wax. I've never had that done before. I've always kinda done it on my own - MY way. But I was seriously considering it until I pondered - "do I really want hot wax around Miss Kitty?"
Not only do I NOT want hot wax around my Sunshine, I don't want body hair ripped out from the root around my womanly space either! OUCH! Is it really that deep? This would be me:
I mean, I know it'll probably be as smooth as a baby's bottom and the hair won't grow back for weeks. There will be no razor bumps or chemical burns. But do I really want to yank pubic hair from my body? I think I may pass on that - last thing I need is to suffer the consequences of a bikini wax gone wrong and I'm all red and swollen on my precious vacation. Nah son...not me.
I bring all this up to say that women do some rather insane things to achieve modern standards of beauty. We wear shoes that cripple our feet. We strap on bras that dig into our chest and shoulders and push our breasts up to our chins. We slide on pantyhose to firm our stomachs and slim our thighs, wear makeup to hide our imperfections, and dye our hair to diminish our grays. And we have this strange habit of yanking out body hair from the follicle - be it our eyebrows, underarms, legs, or pubic hair.
Yes, I do have a point here (besides making the men all skeeved out). Women tend to do all this in the name of beauty, but at the same time, we don't want to be defined by it. We want men to love us for our brains or our personality, but we go get plucked, polished, shaved and waxed so that we can be "beautiful." Are we being hypocritical? Let's face it - we wouldn't be doing this crap to our bodies if it weren't for men. We'd be some fat, hairy bitches..right? Right.
Now you can say, "I do it for me, to feel good about myself" all you want, but we both know that's a damn lie. No woman is going to subject herself to self-mutilation if it wasn't for men. No woman. Okay, maybe the mani/pedi is nice to look at or we don't want eyebrows that crawl across our foreheads - I'll give you that. But come on...a bikini wax? Hot Wax on Miss Kitty? No...HELL no.
So tell me, what is the strangest, most insane thing you've done in the name of beauty? Men, you can answer this too. I know a few who have gotten their backs waxed, or who shave their chest hair. Men get mani/pedi's too ya know.
Have any of you ever had a beauty procedure go REALLY wrong and wound up looking like a crazy person, or rushed to the emergency room?
Do you think we go too far in the name of "beauty?"
Lemme hear it!
-b
